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by Kirk Vanderbeek Swingers (1996) Before he was a rich Hollywood fat cat (though he has shed some serious poundage of late), Jon Favreau was an up-and-coming writer/actor, and Swingers was his ticket to stardom. He plays a real broken-hearted sucker in this one: curtains drawn, in a robe, on the floor, eating sausage, drinking orange juice … talk about an ideal Saturday night! My, how a broken heart can break a man … and how Heather Graham can fix him. Closer (2004) Man, everyone in this movie alternates constantly between heartbreaker and heartbroken, causing some very confusing character identification for the audience: “Wait … do I feel sorry for this guy? He’s crying … She left him. But wait … didn’t he screw that other chick for half the flick? Wait a second … I hate all these people!” This film’s dialogue is so good it makes my skin crawl. In a good way. The Last Kiss (2006) Here’s a classic example of someone breaking their own heart in the form of the dude with the perfect girl who screws up, screws around and loses her. Then Joni Mitchell starts crooning, “Don’t it always seem to go that you don’t know what you got 'til it's gone,” into his ear and he backpedals, apologizes, stalks, wins back girl. Zach Braff, you sonofabitch, no one puts Jacinda Barrett in the corner!
The Forbidden Kingdom Starring Jet Li, Jackie Chan, Michael Angarano, Morgan Benoit and Yifei Liu. Written by John Fusco. Directed by Rob Minkoff. Rated PG-13. Now playing. by Adam Simmons In some circles, Jackie Chan and Jet Li appearing in the same movie is a historic event. After all, these are the world’s biggest and most talented martial arts stars. So why did they choose the most formulaic script possible, with a plot so tired I’m falling asleep just writing about it? A teen from Boston finds himself transported to ancient China via a magical staff that belongs to The Monkey King, who has been imprisoned in stone for centuries. The staff must be returned to The Monkey King to bring peace back to the lands and wouldn’t you know it, there’s a prophecy about a “seeker” from a strange land who will return the staff. What do you want to bet that our South Boston teen is the “seeker?” Along the way an old drunk (Chan) and a monk (Li) band together with the boy to help. Now, there are some good fight scenes here. Chan and Li face off in a lengthy fight that is admittedly rousing. Believe it or not, there is also a scene where Jet Li gives Jackie Chan a golden shower! It’s not all bad; it’s just unimaginative and uninteresting. Even Chan and Li seem slightly embarrassed by all the nonsense happening. Once the fighting stops, these two are on autopilot. Take The Neverending Story and cross it with Last Action Hero and you have The Forbidden Kingdom. | RDW
88 Minutes Starring Al Pacino, Alicia Witt, Leelee Sobieski, Amy Brenneman and Benjamin McKenzie. Written by Gary Scott Thompson. Directed by Jon Avnet. Rated R. Now playing. by Thomas Matich A generic who-dun-it can be pretty amusing sometimes. It’s fun to try and guess the killer before the movie ends and usually I can narrow it down to one or two people within the first 30 minutes of the film. I was worried when it came to 88 Minutes, because just from watching the trailer, I already thought I had the crime solved. For the sake of not spoiling the movie, I won’t reveal my guess, but thankfully I was wrong. Not to say that 88 Minutes had me fooled; I fingered the killer within the first half-hour and then was entertained by classic Al Pacino monologues where he clutches his forehead and gets that crazy twitch in his eye when he’s finally figured it out. I’m sure the plot will sound familiar, Pacino plays a professor/forensic psychiatrist who put away a serial killer who’s facing execution and suddenly there’s a copycat killing people and calling Pacino’s cell to tell him he’s got 88 minutes to live. I can’t remember the last good script Pacino or Robert DeNiro have been handed, because it seems these two guys have been stuck doing formulaic thrillers that don’t do much aside from nab them quick paychecks. It actually would’ve been more interesting to see Pacino spend his last 88 minutes on Earth getting really drunk while reading screenplays. | RDW
Where in the World is Osama Bin Laden? Starring Morgan Spurlock. Written by Jeremy Chilnick and Morgan Spurlock. Directed by Morgan Spurlock. Rated PG-13. Now playing. by Kirk Vanderbeek Morgan Spurlock, the man who brought us Super Size Me, really loves to see his face on the big screen. And I’m always wary of the person who has become convinced that their thoughts, their actions, are so significant that they demand cinematic exposure; I guess I’ve been warned to beware false prophets. Yet, while I don’t consider Spurlock to be anything of a prophet, I don’t think he considers himself one, either. Sure, he’s a bit self-aggrandizing, but barring the chance that you’re an extremely right-wing Conservative (in which case, why would you ever read my film reviews?), he’s not that alienating. In this documentary, Spurlock decides that with the birth of his first baby a matter of months away, he needs to do what he can to make the world a safer place. And who’s the most dangerous man in the world right now? George Bush. Duh. Who’s number two? Osama Bin Laden; and that’s who Spurlock sets his sights on, traveling all across the Middle East in a supposed attempt to find the man, which turns into more of a tour book of the interesting people he meets along the way. It all gets a bit too, “Look! They’re just like us!” at times, but he does document some insightful and interesting encounters with people vastly different than the terrorist demons we so often see on Fox News. I’m not too sure about the conclusions the film attempts to draw, I’m not sure about the ultimate message, but it is a movie I wouldn’t mind sitting through again in order to draw firmer conclusions of my own. | RDW
Beaufort Starring Oshri Cohen, Itay Tiran, Ohad Knoller and Ami Weinberg. Written by Joseph Cedar and Ron Leshem. Directed by Joseph Cedar. Not rated. Playing at the Detroit Film Theatre, 4/25-27. by Kirk Vanderbeek For 18 years, Israeli troops have occupied the Beaufort Castle in southern Lebanon. Since 1982, young Israeli soldiers have kept watch at various points around the mountaintop, protecting a seemingly superfluous spoil of war, but in the year 2000, the time for evacuation arrived. Beaufort tells the story of the soldiers who were there for the end of the occupation; the young men stuck in limbo between protecting and abandoning a Lebanese mountaintop (in a bunker that looks strangely similar to the set of the original Alien) that is in a seemingly constant state of incoming attack in the form of mortar and missiles being launched by an unseen enemy. Much like real life (and real war), the general events of a day, despite the constant threat of violence, are rather mundane. Small talk abounds and differences of opinions over the significance of the occupation provide the bulk of the film’s “action.” There are small bits of war conflict, some bombings, but this is a film focused on the thoughts and feelings of the soldiers. It’s very slow; it’s kind of boring, but it’s worthy of some patience. The direction is unobtrusive and competent and the story, while slight, is an interesting glimpse (a la Jarhead) into the seeming futility of war. | RDW
Cinematic Insurgence by Kirk Vanderbeek It really is impossible not to be intrigued by the theatrical shenanigans of the counter-culture of the ‘60s. Radical underground “leaders” like Abbie Hoffman and Jerry Rubin, two members of the Yippie party and infamous constituents of the Chicago Eight (the extreme anti-war protestors of 1968), are as charismatic as they are off-putting, and their presence in Chicago protesting the Democratic National Convention of ’68 is still a significant piece of American history. It certainly never left the mind of Brett Morgen (writer/director of Chicago 10), despite the fact that he was still an occupant of his mother’s womb at the time. He takes a few minutes to chat with RDW about his latest film. *** If you found yourself, as you are now, in Chicago in 1968, what would you have been doing? I don’t know, man, you know … that’s a tough question. That, to me, is kind of the big question of the film: how far are you willing to go for your beliefs? Would you knowingly and willingly walk into a police ambush knowing you’re going to get the shit kicked out of you? Would you maybe have been one of the people behind the cameras? I probably would’ve. Someone asked me the other day what I’ve been doing to protest over the last four years and I said, “Making this movie.” I’m always frustrated that people like Abbie Hoffman and Jerry Rubin, both of whom have such good ideas, have to be as counter-culture as they are. I’ll tell you, Phil Donahue said that to Jerry Rubin in 1970 on The Donahue Show. He said, “Jerry, don’t you realize you’re alienating people? I mean, you’re so obnoxious and you’re so crass, don’t you think you’re turning people off?” And Jerry said, “Oh, oh, what should I do? Should I write a letter to the president, ‘Dear Dick Nixon, please get me out of Vietnam?’ No! This is not the time to be quiet!” So, yes, they certainly alienated people then and they will probably alienate people now. Did you have concerns about how biased the film is towards the Yippies? Well, no! The mistakes the Yippies made are, by the way, on display in this film. I mean, you said it yourself; they were overtly obnoxious. I just tried to show them the way that they saw themselves. Do you think someone like Abbie Hoffman could rally the youth of today? I do. I think he probably would’ve had a show on Comedy Central and I think he’d probably be listening to Rage Against the Machine. | RDW Chicago 10 opens 4/25 at the Main Art Theatre
by Kirk Vanderbeek Sometimes, having to wait for an interview can be an annoyance. But when you’re sitting in the posh confines of the MGM Grand, literally roasting by an open fire, and you’re informed that the people you’re waiting on are at a local Coney trying to get a real taste of Detroit … well, then it’s pretty easy to sit tight and wait patiently. It also helps when you’re looking forward to speaking to actors you admire about a film you really enjoyed. In this case: Hiam Abbass and Haaz Sleiman, two actors you may recognize neither by name nor face, but whose work speaks strongly for itself. As supporting actors in the upcoming film The Visitor, Haaz Sleiman skillfully portray a young musician who finds himself caught in the spokes of an American immigration system much harsher than he’d imagined, and Hiam Abbass appears as his mother, a woman who knows all too well the dangers her son is facing. The film is warm, honest and engaging; I was pleased to find both Haaz and Hiam to be the same.
*** So, how was lunch? Haaz Sleiman: Ahh, it was filling. Did you guys go to Coney? HS: Yeah, so you’ve been told? The news has gone around! Yeah, I was told that you guys knew that if you’re in Detroit you have to hit up a Coney. Hiam Abbass: Yeah, this is what we were told. We tried it, and it’s really good. HS: Yeah, it’s surprising, I’ve never been to it and I lived here, so I don’t know what happened there. So, can you tell me a bit about these detention facilities in which Tarek finds himself in the film. Did you spend much time in an actual facility for research? HS: Yeah, absolutely, we actually went to a real detention center. It was an emotional experience for me because I was never exposed to that. And when I sat down with the detainees I really asked them a lot of questions; how life was inside, how they spent their days, the situations and issues with their lawyers, so it was very helpful and it helped really create the reality for me. Has the act itself of deportation been significant in either of your actual lives? HA: For me, two years ago … my daughter was in high school in Paris … and one day she came home and said, “We went out on a demonstration,” and I said, “Why?” and she said, “A student is being deported.” I’m lucky that my daughter had to go through that at least to find out that she had a physical and emotional contact to somebody that that happened to. And this is the problem in our society today … is that we’re comfortably sitting on our seats and saying, “It’s not my story, I don’t care; it’s not my business, it’s not happening to my family,” do you see what I mean? R: Absolutely, people are disconnected. HA: Exactly! And I think The Visitor is really one of the stories I like very much because it connects to the reality. Though for me, the issue of the movie, really, is not immigration, that’s a sub-context, the story is about these human beings from different cultures connecting to each other. | RDW
Mark Mathis by Jay Davis Mark Mathis, one of the producers of Expelled, wants the “theory” of Intelligent Design (ID) taught in science classrooms alongside evolution. Proponents of ID are fond of saying that it's not the same as creationism (read: creationism sans the talking snake and the magic rib). But if ID isn't creationism, then oral sex isn't sexual relations. Beyond semantic nuances, the underlying argument of creationism and ID is the same: If there is any phenomenon that science has yet to provide an explanation for, there clearly is no scientific explanation—God did it. In the film, Mathis argues that instructors who want to incorporate theology into their science curricula are being censored. But it’s not a question of censorship—it’s a question of classification. Theological concepts like ID could certainly be taught to students in a course on religion or philosophy, but these concepts are simply not scientific. Science is concerned with evaluating hypotheses which are testable and falsifiable, and God’s existence does not meet these criteria. I confront Mathis with this point, and he counters that evolutionary theory is also untestable. This is patently untrue—to give just one example, scientists have witnessed speciation, the arisal of a new species from an old one. When I point this out, he interrupts me immediately: “Whoa! Wait a minute! Please send me whatever material you have that demonstrates that we can observe speciation because I have not seen anything. I’ve never heard anyone even claim that!” Is he serious? He’s just produced a film about evolution, and he’s never heard of the fact that speciation has been observed and thoroughly documented in the scientific literature? I’m stunned. I send him peer-reviewed research confirming this fact via e-mail, and he later responds, “This isn’t an important argument for me.” So I ask him about falsifiability. Clearly, evolution could potentially be disproved, but how could one ever disprove the existence of a deity? He laughs. “You can’t apply falsifiability to Darwinian evolution. How is it falsifiable?” I respond by quoting the biologist J.B.S. Haldane: “Fossil rabbits in the Precambrian.” One instance of fossils appearing in the wrong strata would disprove current evolutionary theory in an instant. Mathis pauses before saying, “If you want to get into the science...” He then trails off and mutters something irrelevant before finally confessing, “Look. You can get into the intricacies of the science on both sides. And I am not qualified.” On that point, we can both agree. It gets worse. According to a March 21st New York Times article, evolutionary biologist P.Z. Myers—who is interviewed in Expelled—tried to attend an advance screening of the film and was denied entrance by Mr. Mathis. Surely this was some kind of comic mix-up. No producer who releases a film called Expelled would actually expel an individual who appears in his film from seeing that film. Right? Mathis laughs before offering two reasons why he told the security guard at the screening not to let Myers in. First, Mathis says, “He has viciously attacked me personally and attacked the film.” Just to clarify, Myers did not break into Mr. Mathis’ house in a drunken rage with a bowie knife—he has simply been critical of Mathis’ arguments. The second reason? Mathis assumed that the incident would engender “some additional attention” for the film. I’m not joking. He actually called that a reason. “He was not invited to the screening,” Mathis says. “I don’t have time to read P.Z. Myers’ oral diarrhea.” “But the screening wasn’t done by invite, was it?” I ask. “It’s still our screening. I’m still the producer on site. And I still have the ability to say, ‘I didn’t invite you. And you’re not coming.’” Mathis repeats, “I denied him entrance to a film that he was not invited to.” “But just to clarify, others who weren’t invited were allowed in, right?” “Done by discretion! Done by discretion!” In case you’re wondering, this means yes. It seems safe to say that discretion is something that Mark Mathis lacks entirely. I let him scream for one more minute. “We have the option of ex… uh, of kicking, uh, of not allowing P.Z. Myers to come to the film he wasn’t invited to. Okay? Who cares?!” If we do decide to teach Intelligent Design along with evolution, let’s at least be consistent and give equal time to other supernatural theories. Here are a few suggestions:
Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed Starring Ben Stein. Written by Kevin Miller, Walt Ruloff and Ben Stein. Directed by Nathan Frankowski. Rated PG. Now playing. Those who think that evolution is “just a theory” will probably revel in Expelled, a film in which a mountain of evidence garnered by decades of rigorous empirical study is challenged by the stuffy economics teacher from Ferris Bueller's Day Off. In addition to the standard creationist claptrap, Ben Stein argues that there is a link between acceptance of evolution and Nazism. To be fair, this would explain why so many of the world's leading evolutionary biologists have a penchant for slaughtering scores of Jews. Thankfully for Stein, the name of God has never been used as a justification for heinous acts—otherwise his argument would seem laughably inconsistent and intellectually dishonest. Since this movie is more chuck-full of errors than Kim Jong Il's Ethics final, I'll direct those who are interested to www.expelledexposed.com. | RDW © Copyright by RealDetroitWeekly.com |
