Stage & Canvas (June 23, 2010) 

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Something for The Dude and Walter and Donny ... and The Jesus, of course

When it comes to 3D perfection, the bowling pin is a thing of beauty. It swells where it's supposed to swell, tapers where it's supposed to taper and it stays erect until the climax of contact. Now THAT'S a nice Freudian package for both genders! And what's to keep you from loving It Came From the Gutter when it opens at the Garden Bowl on June 27? Curator Mike Kelly collected 50 pins, gave them to 50 artists and instructed the creative ones to "do whatever they deemed appropriate" to transform them. He gave them to painters, photographers, metal workers, glass blowers and a modest handful of "enthusiasts" who simply wanted in on the fun. Among the talented pinheads who submitted works are such familiar keggers as Jerry Shirts, Diane Whitehead, Dale Teachout, Oneita Porter, April Segedi, Wyl Lewis and Drew Kups. Everything will be on display at the GB thru August 29 and that's plenty of time for you to enjoy the art and perfect your game. 4120-4140 Woodward. We still think curling is sexier than bowling, however.

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Social Conscience

No fewer than 16 Detroit artists requested that S & C devote attention to National HIV Testing Day (June 27) and mention that free exams will be provided by the Oakland County Health Division. That day will also afford you a chance to get involved with the NAMES Project and to meet representatives from over a dozen local organizations. Testing goes from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. at the Douglas J. Salon at 409 S. Center in RO. More: 248.858.5476.

Paint in the Creek Beats Oil in the Gulf

We had to look up the word "quasquicentennial" a few weeks ago and now it looks like we'll have to figure out what a "biennial" is. A shrub, right? Anyway, the Paint Creek Center for the Arts set this query in motion with an announcement that June 25 is the kickoff date for its first Members Biennial Exhibit. Twenty-one artists submitted humbly to a stern and demanding committee. The result? Forty carefully selected pieces will soon adorn the walls. That means watercolors, pastel drawings, photographs, stained glass and a plethora of works in both oil and acrylics. More than you or we deserve, but that's why Fortuna is on the A-List over here. From the roster: James Homer Brown, Barbara Markham, Diane O'Neil, Scott Laga, Tommy Wilson and Sharon Toms. 407 Pine in Rochester. 248.651.4110. And we won't keep you in suspense any longer: biennial — an event that occurs every two years. Around here we call it shaving.

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Because They MIGHT Change the Date AGAIN

On June 30, the city of Pontiac and the Woodward Avenue Action Association will (hopefully) break ground for the second Woodward Tribute — that is, for a unique interpretative signage column that pays tribute to that city's long relationship with our beloved M1. The first one is still standing proudly in Ferndale (yes, that's what it is) and unless budget woes kill the whole project we can look forward to 18 more of these beacons being planted in the next two years. Ten to 11 a.m. at the southern end of the Woodward Loop — a place known to locals as "the teardrop." More: woodwardavenue.org.

Quintet (Sextet?)

We sent you to a theatrical omnibus awhile back and you came out of it like champs. Get ready — the fun continues in Ferndale. Starting June 25, the Ringwald will begin its inaugural Gay Play Series with a rare staged reading of the cult masterpiece Valley of the Dolls. The cast for this special reading includes Melissa Beckwith, Christa Coulter, Kate Peckham, Bryan Lark, Dave Davies, Dyan Bailey, Mark Sobolewski, Vince Kelley, Joe Bailey, Laurel Hufano and others. After that marathon of deathless prose, you will enjoy five one-act plays performed back to back on June 26 and 27. These brand new works are: In, by Dave DeChristopher; The Single Life, by Megan Buckley; My Dull Friend, by Margaret Edwardtowski; Joy, by Audra Lord; and Hit Me (It Felt Like a Kiss), by Kristian O'Hare. Audiences will be asked to vote for their favorite after each performance. There will also be a performance on June 28 by The Motown MisCast Cabaret; the guys will perform musical theatre songs traditionally sung by dolls, and the dolls will repay the favor in kind. More: whowantscaketheatre.com. | RDW

Robert's pants taper where they're supposed to taper. Email him: Robert@realdetroitweekly.com

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