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Lowdown (September 19, 2007) 

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Okay, OJ!
OJ Simpson, the not-guilty blood splatterer, was thrown in the clank on Sunday for his involvement in a supposed armed robbery in Las Vegas. A sports memorabilia collector, Bruce Fromong, said that he was selling some items that were once Simpson’s and that a group of men barged into his hotel suite under false impressions of purchasing some of the goods.

Fromong reports that OJ and his crew had some gats and created a “home-invasion” style robbery. OJ is now claiming he is innocent of all crimes and that it was a misunderstanding between the nerdy collector and his group of thugs. Desperate measures by broke-ass people! OJ was probably trying to steal the items and auction them off to raise money to pay off the $35 million lawsuit he lost to the family of Ron Goldman.

Beckett Bowl
I was in Boston last Thursday night the yearly Beckett Bowl. It's a charity event named after the star pitcher for the Boston Red Sox, Josh Beckett. They sell bowling lanes (for charity) and then host an after-party in the club, Rain, next door. Lots of athletes were in attendance, including Josh Beckett and David Ortiz of the Red Sox, Celtics Paul Pierce and Ray Allen, some New England Patriots I didn’t know. Also on hand was celeb chef Todd English, along with the man of the hour, Adrian Grenier, star of Entourage. Ladies were creaming their pants for a chance to meet this magnet as his band, The Honey Brothers, rocked the stage. Not bad for an event that actually raised $500,000 for a good cause rather than paying that amount for the celebs to show up. All in all, Boston is a cool town, except for the dreaded “roundabouts.”

Emmyness
The Emmys were on Sunday night, and for the first time in my life I wasn’t bored out of my mind! There were a couple highlights during the show: The first one came on the red carpet, which was hosted by queen-in-hiding Ryan Seacrest (who also hosted the show — diva knows how to work it!). Ryan was interviewing the freshly 18-years-old Hayden Panettiere, who looked pretty stunning. His first comment/question was, “Look at that tan — did you spray?” I almost spit out my water with laughter! Of course she replied with, “No” — but what celebrity admits to drug addiction, sexcapades or spray tanning? The cartoon intro of the show had me laughing, but not as much as Lewis Black’s two-minute stand up routine. It’s about time someone told off the executives at all the TV studios that we’re sick of promos in the middle of our shows.

And the last, but not least, most hilarious event was when that fuckfaced jerkoff Kanye West was mocked in front of millions with a skit that included his new song and Wayne Brady and the nerd from The Office making fun of him. He didn’t even notice that the joke was on him!  

Shit You Need To Know
  • Jamie Foxx purchased his own star on the walk of fame. I’m not quite sure if I like that guy or not so I won’t say anything negative.
  • LC has launched her new clothing line simply called The Lauren Conrad Collection. Too bad prices are in the hundreds. She must forget that the MTV crowd doesn’t have Laguna Beach money. Stupid Rich Bitch. 
  • Shakira has gone back to class! For what you ask? I would assume better English diction, but NOOOOO, it’s actually for Western Civilization! I’m completely mind-boggled. 
  • Fred Durst got arrested a couple weeks back and didn’t even make headlines. I’m sorry to say to all you Limp Bizkit fans, but he is officially a LOSER! 
  • $1.5 million purse to Kid Rock and Tommy Lee if they get in the ring together for Jeff Beacher in Vegas. I hope they get into the ring and Pam comes and ninja kicks both of their faces in.
  • Shanna Moakler and Travis Barker seem to be “On” again. Will someone make up their mind! She must give great head ...
Rizzle’s Picks Of The Week
  1. Crystal Light “On The Go” packets — Fruit Punch, y’all.
  2. 50 Cent — Curtis
  3. Prison Break — Mondays @ 8 p.m. on FOX.  | RDW


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