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Lowdown (October 17, 2007) 

Happy Birfday To Me, Happy Birfday To Me, Happy Biiiiiirfday Ray Rizzle, Happy Birfday To Me.

Oh Clifford!
Clifford Harris, better known to us regular folks as T.I., was arrested in Atlanta over the weekend. In a scene that looked more like a clip from The Fugitive, the ATF, FBI, local pigs, federal fools and more stormed his mansion to serve a warrant that was issued by the courts. They found quite a few handguns, semi-automatic weapons, bullets (of course, duh!) and an unhappy camper named T.I.

He was supposed to perform that night at the taping of the BET Awards, but instead spent most of his night in the clank. Insiders are saying his ex-bodyguard was the one who snitched him out and half of the weapons seized were licensed and the people living in the house had permits to carry them. I’m not quite sure what the feds are trying to accomplish here. I think they could have spent their time on much more important criminals like drug lords, murderers, gangs, members of the mafia, etc. Way to go, Uncle “Dipshit” Sam.

The View co-host and total uptight Republican bitch-wad, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, is set to depart the show on an extended maternity leave on November 8. Thank God she is leaving the show for a while, maybe now I can watch it! I know the whole premise behind the show, but would it hurt them if they were to get male co-hosts to fill her spot while she is gone? And I'm not talking about Perez Hilton either, he is still considered a girl.

I would love to see Bill Maher, Dennis Leary or Steven Colbert. Take that, Walters!

Jimmy Kimmel Bi?
The late night host will be turning bi next week Monday as he plans to set a new television record. No, not bisexual — bi-coastal!  Jimmy Kimmel will be filling in for Regis Philbin on Live With Regis and Kelly,  and when the show wraps, he'll catch a plane to the west coast to make it in time to film his late night show, Jimmy Kimmel Live.

I don't know of anyone in their right mind that would want to do that, but Kimmel says that's how committed he is to entertaining America ... and parts of Canada, too. He'll have only about two hours to account for any flight delays, etc. I can’t wait to see how tired he looks Friday night at the end of his run.

Boner Material
Eva Mendes on the cover of Maxim = WaWaWeeWaa!

Rihanna Hartnett?
“Ladies Love Him Long Time” Josh Hartnett and singer Rihanna were spotted in NYC last weekend smooching away at a club called Pink Elephant. This girl has had that cookie cutter image from day one and lately it seems she is only in the press for who she is hooking up with.

First, it was Transformers star Shia LaBeouf, now it's another actor — 30 Days of Night star, Josh Hartnett. Maybe she is catching that actors bug ... not the one that makes you wanna read scripts. Let's see how long it takes for her to make her way into an A-list actor's bed. My bet is on Heath Ledger. Wait, who am I kidding? Heath isn't an A-list actor!!!

Shit You Need To Know
  •  LeAnn Rimes beat out latino queen JLo in first week album sales. What's even better is that Kid Rock sold more records than both those floozies.
  • Bobby Brown was rushed to the hospital for a possible heart attack. Two days later he was performing onstage. Again — it's his prerogative .   
  • Kiefer Sutherland is set to spend 48 days behind bars for his recent DUI bust. Ouch, that has to hurt. Oh, and Michelle Rodriguez was sentenced to 6 months in jail. LOL!
  • Country singer Joe Nichols has entered rehab. Are you thinking the same thing I am? “Who is Joe Nichols?”
  • Pro-Green guy Al Gore won a Nobel prize or something to that effect. I still like Bill Clinton more.
Rizzle’s Picks Of The Week
  1. World In Conflict — PC game.
  2. Blackberry 8320.
  3. Kid Rock's Rock N Roll Jesus. | RDW

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