The other night, you saw your ex-girlfriend at the bar. There she was, sitting with three of her friends, laughing and drinking drinks bought by men with chronic cleavage eye. Laughing at you — or so you think. But do you give a shit? I mean, you were the one to leave her broke, sketchy ass, right? If only someone understood.
Someone does — his name is Darrell Joyce. Direct and deliberate, Joyce is an author by day and comedian by night and rips into women like a man scorned. But it’s not scorn that ignited this man’s fire — it was the frustration of good men getting bad raps, and bad women denying any fault of their own. Real Detroit talked with Joyce to get to the bottom of his amusing muse.
You recently put out your third book, Why Black Men Leave Home, which is similar to the first two. Where did this one come from?
I basically had to (write the book) because of all the heat I was getting from the black community … black women specifically. I mean, not to paint all black women with a broad brush, but a lot of times black women get mad when they read something that’s poignant but that’s also really telling her something about herself — and then they read that it’s written by a black man, they assume that I must hate all black women. That just isn’t the case. So, I was getting a ton of heat from black women or "sisters" — actually in my book that’s one of the things I explain; there is a difference between a black woman and a "sister."
But what’s at the core of the book?
Black women think that as soon as a black man becomes successful, like the minute he joins the NBA or somethin’ like that, he has to go out and get a white woman because they’re the ultimate trophy — and again, that’s just not it. They use that as an excuse for their own shortcomings — I’ll be blunt and tell you that black women have the shittiest attitudes on the planet.
Was there something that really made it personal for you?
One of the main themes of the book is a big issue in the black community which is, "Oh, I’d be married, but there aren’t any good black men out there," or "Why can’t black men get their shit together?" So, basically, everything you just said is that you are perfect and men are shit, and that when men figure out that we’re shit, the world will be better. But you aren’t looking at the fact that you’re fat, you don’t have a gym membership, all your friends are bitches, you’re 34 and a cashier, you dress like a slut but expect to be treated like a wife, you met me in a bar — there are these things that you’re in denial about. But what I’m saying is, when are you going to own up to some sort of personal responsibility?
Could you hit us with an example?
I was on a radio show talking to a woman who said, “Well, he got me pregnant and he left me.” Well, a man can’t get you pregnant — you can only allow yourself to get pregnant by that man. See, if he gets past the phone number, then he’s on your couch and then in your bed — those are three things that you just allowed. I know women that got five kids by five men — were they five promiscuous men, or is that just one ho? | RDW
More info: darrelljoyce.com
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