...........He is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love.

Beige, four inch, over- the- knee stiletto boots, black leggings, and a white short sleeve shirt layered with a tan and black striped poncho. Lips lined with “Oh Baby” shimmering gloss…and eyelashes bathed in brown mascara. For a dramatic effect, I decided to add a touch of bronze blush to my cheeks but I was pleasantly interrupted…...Ding-Dong...Nickolas was at my front door.

He greeted me with a warm hug. The embrace was too distant to be considered intimate but too close to be considered a church hug. (Yes, a church hug, you know when you wrap your arms around someone’s neck but you poke your bottom out so your lower half doesn’t touch…F.Y.I. that’s a church hug) The embrace lasted just long enough for me to notice he was wearing my favorite cologne…Izzey Miyake.

We arrived at the Melting Pot in Novi ten minutes early. Since Nickolas is such a gentleman, I made sure to fidget around with my seatbelt so he would have plenty of time make his way around to the other side of the vehicle to open my door. I sat there fidgeting for at least two minutes…I wonder what’s taking him so long? I decided to give him a few more seconds …5…4...3…2…1 and I am STILL sitting in the car.

I steal a look at Nickolas through the side view mirror and he appears to be walking towards the restaurant clueless to the fact that I am NOT by his side or even behind him for that matter. I sat there trying to keep my composure and silently praying that this little stunt was a joke.

Finally Nickolas walks back to the car, and says, “Are you okay beautiful?” I thought to myself, really? Are you really talking to me through the window? I can’t believe this guy still hasn’t realized that I am waiting for him to open my door! After five more minutes went by, I gave up and opened my OWN door.

Once we were inside, it was the perfect amount of romance; the lights were dimmed and the candles were lit. For dinner we ordered the Shrimp & Sirloin and the Yin & Yang chocolate fondue for dessert.

Great food and wonderful conversation… In fact, our conversation was so wonderful; I forgave Nickolas for not opening my car door earlier.

While we were having dinner, it started to snow. Now… the last time there was bad weather, Nickolas literally swept me off my feet and CARRIED me to the car so I didn’t think this time would be any different, boy was I wrong!

“You want me to pick you up at the door beautiful? Oh, so what if it’s snowing, a little snow never hurt anybody,” said Nickolas. “I want us to experience the cold weather together, so come on beautiful give me your hand”. I laughed and thought in addition to being a business owner that Nickolas was also a comedian. But here’s the thing, Nickolas was not joking… and he made me walk to his car in my FOUR HUNDRED DOLLAR suede stiletto boots.

The ride back home was long and silent; I was so upset that I couldn’t even look at Nickolas. Once we made it back to my apartment, Nickolas thanked me for a wonderful night….and once again….did NOT open my car door.

........Praise him with the timbrel and dance.......

One..two..three…step back…one.. two.. three… step back and OUCH, there he was, stepping all over my perfect pedicure. I was wearing a pair of shiny, red, open toed, 5 inch Mary Jane stiletto’s and to add further insult to injury, I lost my balance, and went tumbling down.

“Let me help you beautiful” he said as he extended his arm in my direction. “I’m sorry, I am new to this ballroom dancing class, please forgive my clumsiness”. My first reaction was to say very mean things to him for embarrassing me, and ruining my pedicure, but all I could manage to say was “fine”. There was something about the sincere way he apologized that made me bite my tongue.

Once I returned to the vertical position, I decided I had enough dancing…or rather falling for one night so I grabbed my purse and made my way out the door; the man with the two left feet followed my exit. “Um, I am okay, I think I can make it to my car alone Sir”.” My name is Nickolas, and I would never let a lovely lady walk to her car alone, besides, it is the least I can do after ruining your night”. Without much of a fuss, I allowed him to escort me to my vehicle.

Along the way, I found out he was an only child, he OWNED his own construction company, and he had a Great Dane named Ray. He also told me he was SINGLE, with NO children and had just PURCHASED his first home. Now normally, I don’t talk to strangers, but I had the strongest desire to share the details of my life with him.

We had almost made it across the parking lot, when the weather took a turn for the worse. The rain started coming down so hard, that I could no longer see. As if he were my knight in shining armor, Nickolas picked me up and carried me (all 5’11, 195 pounds) the rest of the way to my car, and I was speechless.

He asked for my keys and unlocked the door, once I had gotten inside he closed the door and told me to buckle up. I thought chivalry was dead….but actually, it’s alive and staring me right in the face. As I started my ignition, he waited patiently and right before I pulled off he handed me his business card and said, “It was a pleasure meeting you, please call and let me know that you made it home safely.”

I made it home in less than thirty minutes, and just as I had promised I called Nickolas. The phone rang once before he answered,” Hi beautiful, I am glad that you are okay, how was your drive?” Before I knew it, one question led to another, before I knew it two hours had past, before I knew it he asked me out to dinner at The Melting Pot in Novi … and before I knew it I had accepted his offer for romance.

Swani Swanigan

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh...

While having lunch at Tin Fish in Novi, I noticed a very handsome man sitting at an adjacent booth. He was dressed in a navy blue suit, with a green and white paisley tie. Everything about this man screamed sophistication…the absence of a shiny, gold ban around his left forefinger, screamed “single.”

As I continued to eat my salad, I tried to think of an effortless, non pursuant way to interact with him. For inspirational purposes, I decided to sneak one last look at this gorgeous man before making my move, but he caught me mid-stare and winked.

Embarrassed, I mustered up enough confidence to politely nod my head but because I had just finished eating a salad and wasn’t sure if a piece of spinach was stuck in between my teeth I offered him a tight lipped smile. “May I join you?” he mouthed from across the room, as he walked towards my table before I could answer his question. In less than thirty seconds, the very attractive man was sitting in front of me sipping a glass of iced tea.

“My name is Cederick”, he said and in return, I introduced myself and shook his hand. Everything seemed fine, until he smiled at me and said those six unforgivable words, “Will you be my Baby’s Mama?” Appalled, I quickly excused myself from the table and made a run to the nearest restroom.

Once inside of the ladies’ room, I couldn’t help wondering about the good ole’ days that my parents often talk about; When men asked you out on a date, opened your doors and threw a handkerchief on the ground to protect you from puddles of water. The days when dating was actually known as “courting”.

Has the new millennium encouraged men to bypass marriage and go directly to pushing the baby carriage? Or have women gotten so accustomed to going without a commitment that just like brown, is the new black and 40 is the new 30, is being a “baby mama” the new style of marriage that women are now wearing like a badge of honor?

I returned to the table and to my unpleasant surprise, Cederick was still sitting there. Immediately, I asked for the check, and paid my bill. Before getting up to leave, I turned to Mr. Cederick and said,” no thank you to your previous offer”. Baffled at my response, he raised his eyebrows and then asked why? I smiled and politely answered, because I am the “marrying kind”.

.....And he said unto them, What manner of communications are these that ye have one to another, as ye walk?

In high school, I considered T.J. the cherry that topped my hot fudge sundae. He was a visual climax. Tall, dark, and handsome, instantly, I was attracted to him.

The feeling, however, was not reciprocated. Perhaps my juicy” Jheri Curl” didn’t appeal to him, or maybe I just wasn’t cool enough to hang out with a Michael Jordan look alike. Sometimes, after class, he would shoot a game of b-ball with my older brother. In hopes of scoring a three pointer with him, I would hang out near the basketball court wearing sandals and a mini skirt but he never paid any attention to me… until now… years later.

He sent me a Facebook friend request that I happily accepted. In the mist of our Facebook flirting, he asked me out on a friendly date and happily, I accepted that too…

We ate at the Little Tree, a trendy sushi bar in Royal Oak. Good food, great conversation, things were really looking up for “us”. Especially when, without any prompting on my part, he admitted he was looking for a wife. The mere mentioning of the “W” word mentally forced me to open up the book of possibilities: Is he marriage material? Would we have attractive children and does he think I am “Fabulous” too?

After we finished eating, I rushed home anticipating the obligatory” did you make it home safely phone call”. To my surprise, a whole hour passed by with no call. I picked up my cell phone to make sure the battery was still charged and that’s when it happened: BEEP: Did you make it home….question mark? What? Is he seriously texting me this? I blew off his text message and immediately gave him an F for “failing to follow up from a first date appropriately”. Little did I know, T.J. would fail AGAIN.

The next day around Noon: BEEP: How is your day going? Do you want to go out again?

That’s when it hit me, this GORGEOUS, educated man was text dating me. Is this what dating has come to…texting instead of calling?

I found myself having a texting tantrum, how can a relationship develop if text messaging is the only form of communication? And, most importantly, what does it mean when a man would rather text you than call you? Does it rule out every possibility of him” playing for keeps” OR is texting and not calling his way of letting you know that he is “just simply playing”?

Facebook: Swani Swanigan

Hello everyone! My name is Swani Swanigan and I am the author of Real Detroit Weekly’s newest blog, He said… She said…

I’m sure you are probably wondering what my credentials are…well I have a PH.D…and the D is for dating! No, seriously, I am college educated, but some of my best learning has been through life’s best teacher… experience.

He that findeth a mate findeth a good thing…

He said…She said… is a blog about love, dating, and everything in between. We will explore all of the funny details of dating such as new trends, what he or she said, but really meant, relationship advice, and I will even talk about my insane dating episodes. I also have a whole host of guest bloggers prepared to give you the 411 on their dating and relationship escapades as well.

Although I would love to take credit for the title, I cannot; during a desperate frenzy to come up with a catchy blog title I turned to my good friend, Terry Foster. (97.1 FM the Ticket, Detroit News Sports Reporter) I wanted to name the blog something that would include everyone….and every type of relationship, so the smart and ever so talented Terry, came up with: He said…She said…

A merry heart doeth good like a medicine…

I would also like for it to be known that this is an open forum, feel free to add your comments, ask questions, tell your dating victories…and the disasters too. We will laugh our way through the pain, and come up with solutions that are healing to your soul. So, whether you are madly in love, looking for love, or anywhere in between, stop by and join us. I look forward to hearing from you.

Facebook: Swani Swanigan